The all boy club

I don't know what it is about being a mother of all boys, but quite regularly I feel like I'm part of some special secret club. The club which only mothers of all boys are part of. Sometimes I see other 'all boy' mums when we're out and I look at them, and I feel some sort of connection, I know where they're coming from. Having all boys is a special kind of something.

When I was pregnant with the boys we didn't find out their sex, we were team 'yellow' as the birth clubs have nicknamed it. Having said that I was adamant both times we were having boys; maybe it's because my husband is one of two boys or maybe it was mother's instinct, I'm not really sure, but I just knew. I always knew I would have two boys.

I definitely feel like there is a huge amount of social pressure on family's to have both gender children. There is this obsession with having 'one of each' and that it equates to the perfect family. I've even managed to come up with a general scale of gender desirability (based on the 2:4 family and the general comments I've had aimed at our family so far); at the top you have one of each, girl/boy, boy/girl its what most people seem to want, then you have two girls and then you have two boys. It seems to me as if boys are labelled as difficult, unruly, disobedient and lazy, whilst girls are portrayed as more intelligent, tidier, politer and generally more pleasant to be around. It makes me really sad and actually pretty defensive when people make comments on the fact I have two boys;

"oh rather you than me"
"gosh I couldn't have coped with two boys"
"I never wanted boys personally"
"Boys are pretty full on aren't they"

I mean seriously, I obviously don't have a chance having two of the buggers. What happens if we have another and shock horror it's another boy! OMG surely we'd never survive. 3 boys!!! I actually follow someone on Instagram with 5 - yes 5 boys!! And you know what, they look a very happy and well rounded family.

Someone actually once said to me when I was pregnant with Zakary that "it didn't matter if the baby was a boy, but a girl would be nicer" and after Theo was born I think it took a few days before someone asked if we were going to try again for a girl - yes that's exactly what I'm thinking about after having major abdominal surgery.

As a society some of us seem to have missed the most important point. Our children are healthy and happy, their gender does not define them and it most definitely is not the first thing we should be concerned about. In an age where more and more couples are relying on assisted fertility to help them achieve their dreams we really should learn to be less shallow and a little more appreciative. I for one am very aware that my two little boys (who are very much loved and adored) are something some couples would dream of having in their lives. Children are such a blessing regardless of their gender.

I wouldn't change mine for the world.

The first ever picture of the boys together

Two mini teenagers?

I'm not quite sure when it happened but I seem to have acquired two teenagers seemingly overnight.

Please correct me if I'm wrong but I am (almost definitely) 100% sure that my boys are 4.5 years and 16 months. However, the behaviour I have encountered from both of them over the last few weeks, makes me seriously question the above fact. I am really hoping I am not alone; (although at the same time I wouldn't wish the stress on any parent) in feeling that I've lost my once lovely children and they've somehow been replaced with two identical looking mini monsters.

My once sweet, innocent and polite Zakary, has recently told me among other things that he;

"wants a new mummy"       "doesn't want to be my friend anymore"       "doesn't love me anymore"

These along with his general stroppiness, rudeness and bad attitude is making me question where I've gone wrong with him!

I can't even remember what he was crying about here!

Whilst Theo is a typical toddler and thinks the world is ending if he drops his blueberries or if mummy should dare make him get dressed and wipe his face! OH LORD that child can throw a strop to rival any diva and his screech resembles a banshee.

What do you mean I have to wear trousers!

To top it off he copies his brother to the nth degree and thinks Zak is quite literally the dogs bollocks. If Zak jumps on the sofa, Theo does, if Zak rolls on the floor, Theo does, if Zak is playing with something, Theo wants to join in. He adores his big bro! Whilst Zak finds Theo somewhat of a nuisance.

All of this combined, with the shrieking and screaming, cries of displeasure when something doesn't go there way and endless cries of "Mummmmmyyyyy" leads me to loose my shit ALOT. Quite honestly my neighbours must wonder what the friggin hell is going on in our house 90% of the time.

I sometimes wonder how i'll ever make it through the next 18 years, but then I remember it won't all be like this. Or at least hopefully it wont! Surely the real teenager years will be easier - she says whilst rolling her eyes and chugging on her large glass of wine!

Who am I kidding.

10 things i love about my children

For a change instead of moaning about how difficult I find being a mother, I thought I'd focus on what I love about my boys;

1. I love the way I am the most important person in their lives. Daddy comes a close second...
2. I love how they wrap their little arms around me when they want a cuddle or reassurance. The warmth of their little bodies and how they hug me as tightly as possible.
3. I love how we have a bond that no one else has, they have lived inside me for 9 whole months, they've heard my voice and knew me before I knew them.
4. I love their cheekiness, Theo especially has such a cheeky streak, even when he's being a complete horror, one flash of that smile and I can't be mad anymore.
5. I love how they've changed me for the better, I've actually learnt to put others before myself!!
6. I love how I've been blessed not once but twice with children who love their sleep - for this I'm unbelievably thankful
7. I love the way they look at each other sometimes, those brief moments of pure love for each other, they are the best of friends. True friends who spend 90% of their time trying to maim the other.
8. I love the way they've made us into a family; before they arrived Andy and I were a couple, they have made us a family. The Brakes
9. I love their laughter; there truly is no better sound in the world than your child's belly laugh
10. I love their individuality, they are chalk and cheese. Everyone told me you never get two alike, and they were right

I've not listed these in order of importance, merely as they've popped into my head. When I thought about it I could of written many more. Sometimes it is so easy to get caught in the moment, the moments of craziness and frustration, and focus purely on the negative as opposed to the positive.

This just proves how lucky I really am.

 

 

My children are wonderful little people.