- Oh do you work part-time? Lucky you, best of both worlds!
- You work part-time? Isn't that confusing for the children?
- Oh gosh you've gone back full-time? How do you manage it? When do you see the children?
- You're a stay at home mother? lucky you!
- Oh you stay at home with the kids? Rather you than me!
Believe it or not i'm sure i've heard it all by now.
Many years ago a huge percentage of mothers finished work for the foreseeable future when having their first baby, many not returning to work until they were at primary school/secondary school or out of education altogether. Nowadays its seems far more common place for mothers to be returning to work on either a part-time or full-time basis.
After having both of the boys i have returned to work on a part-time basis. Firstly i'd like to point out that being a SAHM has never really been an option to me, I have to work in order to help support our lives. I was adamant after having Zak that I did not want to work fulltime, to put it bluntly what it would cost me in a fulltime nursery placement compared to my fulltime wage - well there wouldn't be much left! So I count myself very lucky to have both my mother and my mother-in-law available and willing to help look after the boys. They both have them a day a week each whilst i'm working in order that our childcare bill isn't too high. Theo attends nursery 1 day a week and that alone costs over £150(!) a month; Zakary is now in fulltime school. I can honestly say without their help returning to work may not have \been such viable option.
Returning to work has pros and cons, it allows me valuable 'adult' time away from the boys, it 'keeps my foot in the door', it gives grandparents the chance to spend quality time with their grandchildren, and most of all it pays the bills!!! I also think it helps to reinforce the work ethic my husband and I want for our boys. The cons are that over the years i've probably missed alot of the boys growing up, but its been necessary to provide them with the best upbringing we (my husband and I) possibly can.
Everyone seems to have their own opinions on working mothers; on one hand mothers are supposedly sacrifing their hard earn careers to stay at home with their children and on the other mothers are sacrificing time with their children to return to work. WE CANNOT WIN. It seems whatever we do as parents someone will have something to say about it. This week i overheard a few people discussing a colleagues handing in of notice after her maternity leave. Quite clearly they were shocked she wouldn't be returning to her hard earned career, and somehow they were surprised she wanted to stay at home with her baby instead. Who's business is it, apart from hers and her husbands anyway?
What i am desperately trying to explain is, regardless of our working siuation we are all mothers, fulltime mothers at that. We do not give up being a mother when we walk out of the daycare door and we don't bin our qualifications when we choose to stay at home with our children. We do what is best for our families. For me that means working 20 hours a week, for my neighbour it means staying at home with her youngest whilst her eldest goes to school, for my facebook friend it means working full-time whilst still managing to raise her beautiful boy.
We are all different, we can not all be labelled the same and we should all support eachother in whatever choice we have or choose to make.
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