The all boy club

I don't know what it is about being a mother of all boys, but quite regularly I feel like I'm part of some special secret club. The club which only mothers of all boys are part of. Sometimes I see other 'all boy' mums when we're out and I look at them, and I feel some sort of connection, I know where they're coming from. Having all boys is a special kind of something.

When I was pregnant with the boys we didn't find out their sex, we were team 'yellow' as the birth clubs have nicknamed it. Having said that I was adamant both times we were having boys; maybe it's because my husband is one of two boys or maybe it was mother's instinct, I'm not really sure, but I just knew. I always knew I would have two boys.

I definitely feel like there is a huge amount of social pressure on family's to have both gender children. There is this obsession with having 'one of each' and that it equates to the perfect family. I've even managed to come up with a general scale of gender desirability (based on the 2:4 family and the general comments I've had aimed at our family so far); at the top you have one of each, girl/boy, boy/girl its what most people seem to want, then you have two girls and then you have two boys. It seems to me as if boys are labelled as difficult, unruly, disobedient and lazy, whilst girls are portrayed as more intelligent, tidier, politer and generally more pleasant to be around. It makes me really sad and actually pretty defensive when people make comments on the fact I have two boys;

"oh rather you than me"
"gosh I couldn't have coped with two boys"
"I never wanted boys personally"
"Boys are pretty full on aren't they"

I mean seriously, I obviously don't have a chance having two of the buggers. What happens if we have another and shock horror it's another boy! OMG surely we'd never survive. 3 boys!!! I actually follow someone on Instagram with 5 - yes 5 boys!! And you know what, they look a very happy and well rounded family.

Someone actually once said to me when I was pregnant with Zakary that "it didn't matter if the baby was a boy, but a girl would be nicer" and after Theo was born I think it took a few days before someone asked if we were going to try again for a girl - yes that's exactly what I'm thinking about after having major abdominal surgery.

As a society some of us seem to have missed the most important point. Our children are healthy and happy, their gender does not define them and it most definitely is not the first thing we should be concerned about. In an age where more and more couples are relying on assisted fertility to help them achieve their dreams we really should learn to be less shallow and a little more appreciative. I for one am very aware that my two little boys (who are very much loved and adored) are something some couples would dream of having in their lives. Children are such a blessing regardless of their gender.

I wouldn't change mine for the world.

The first ever picture of the boys together