Two mini teenagers?

I'm not quite sure when it happened but I seem to have acquired two teenagers seemingly overnight.

Please correct me if I'm wrong but I am (almost definitely) 100% sure that my boys are 4.5 years and 16 months. However, the behaviour I have encountered from both of them over the last few weeks, makes me seriously question the above fact. I am really hoping I am not alone; (although at the same time I wouldn't wish the stress on any parent) in feeling that I've lost my once lovely children and they've somehow been replaced with two identical looking mini monsters.

My once sweet, innocent and polite Zakary, has recently told me among other things that he;

"wants a new mummy"       "doesn't want to be my friend anymore"       "doesn't love me anymore"

These along with his general stroppiness, rudeness and bad attitude is making me question where I've gone wrong with him!

I can't even remember what he was crying about here!

Whilst Theo is a typical toddler and thinks the world is ending if he drops his blueberries or if mummy should dare make him get dressed and wipe his face! OH LORD that child can throw a strop to rival any diva and his screech resembles a banshee.

What do you mean I have to wear trousers!

To top it off he copies his brother to the nth degree and thinks Zak is quite literally the dogs bollocks. If Zak jumps on the sofa, Theo does, if Zak rolls on the floor, Theo does, if Zak is playing with something, Theo wants to join in. He adores his big bro! Whilst Zak finds Theo somewhat of a nuisance.

All of this combined, with the shrieking and screaming, cries of displeasure when something doesn't go there way and endless cries of "Mummmmmyyyyy" leads me to loose my shit ALOT. Quite honestly my neighbours must wonder what the friggin hell is going on in our house 90% of the time.

I sometimes wonder how i'll ever make it through the next 18 years, but then I remember it won't all be like this. Or at least hopefully it wont! Surely the real teenager years will be easier - she says whilst rolling her eyes and chugging on her large glass of wine!

Who am I kidding.