We made slime!

Zak has never really been into messy play, he's always needed quite a lot of persuasion. But he absolutely loved this and it is so easy to make! Roughly 2 parts cornflower to 1 part water. Chuck a little food colouring in and you can turn it any colour you want.

Its hard to describe but its just so much fun to play with, depending on the pressure you apply the slime will change from a solid to a liquid. It kept Zak entertained for over an hour - this is some sort of record in our house and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Oh its super easy to clean up too! If you leave it to dry, it sweeps up like a powder! Honestly give it a go! I loved it almost as much as Zak did.....

The all boy club

I don't know what it is about being a mother of all boys, but quite regularly I feel like I'm part of some special secret club. The club which only mothers of all boys are part of. Sometimes I see other 'all boy' mums when we're out and I look at them, and I feel some sort of connection, I know where they're coming from. Having all boys is a special kind of something.

When I was pregnant with the boys we didn't find out their sex, we were team 'yellow' as the birth clubs have nicknamed it. Having said that I was adamant both times we were having boys; maybe it's because my husband is one of two boys or maybe it was mother's instinct, I'm not really sure, but I just knew. I always knew I would have two boys.

I definitely feel like there is a huge amount of social pressure on family's to have both gender children. There is this obsession with having 'one of each' and that it equates to the perfect family. I've even managed to come up with a general scale of gender desirability (based on the 2:4 family and the general comments I've had aimed at our family so far); at the top you have one of each, girl/boy, boy/girl its what most people seem to want, then you have two girls and then you have two boys. It seems to me as if boys are labelled as difficult, unruly, disobedient and lazy, whilst girls are portrayed as more intelligent, tidier, politer and generally more pleasant to be around. It makes me really sad and actually pretty defensive when people make comments on the fact I have two boys;

"oh rather you than me"
"gosh I couldn't have coped with two boys"
"I never wanted boys personally"
"Boys are pretty full on aren't they"

I mean seriously, I obviously don't have a chance having two of the buggers. What happens if we have another and shock horror it's another boy! OMG surely we'd never survive. 3 boys!!! I actually follow someone on Instagram with 5 - yes 5 boys!! And you know what, they look a very happy and well rounded family.

Someone actually once said to me when I was pregnant with Zakary that "it didn't matter if the baby was a boy, but a girl would be nicer" and after Theo was born I think it took a few days before someone asked if we were going to try again for a girl - yes that's exactly what I'm thinking about after having major abdominal surgery.

As a society some of us seem to have missed the most important point. Our children are healthy and happy, their gender does not define them and it most definitely is not the first thing we should be concerned about. In an age where more and more couples are relying on assisted fertility to help them achieve their dreams we really should learn to be less shallow and a little more appreciative. I for one am very aware that my two little boys (who are very much loved and adored) are something some couples would dream of having in their lives. Children are such a blessing regardless of their gender.

I wouldn't change mine for the world.

The first ever picture of the boys together

Two mini teenagers?

I'm not quite sure when it happened but I seem to have acquired two teenagers seemingly overnight.

Please correct me if I'm wrong but I am (almost definitely) 100% sure that my boys are 4.5 years and 16 months. However, the behaviour I have encountered from both of them over the last few weeks, makes me seriously question the above fact. I am really hoping I am not alone; (although at the same time I wouldn't wish the stress on any parent) in feeling that I've lost my once lovely children and they've somehow been replaced with two identical looking mini monsters.

My once sweet, innocent and polite Zakary, has recently told me among other things that he;

"wants a new mummy"       "doesn't want to be my friend anymore"       "doesn't love me anymore"

These along with his general stroppiness, rudeness and bad attitude is making me question where I've gone wrong with him!

I can't even remember what he was crying about here!

Whilst Theo is a typical toddler and thinks the world is ending if he drops his blueberries or if mummy should dare make him get dressed and wipe his face! OH LORD that child can throw a strop to rival any diva and his screech resembles a banshee.

What do you mean I have to wear trousers!

To top it off he copies his brother to the nth degree and thinks Zak is quite literally the dogs bollocks. If Zak jumps on the sofa, Theo does, if Zak rolls on the floor, Theo does, if Zak is playing with something, Theo wants to join in. He adores his big bro! Whilst Zak finds Theo somewhat of a nuisance.

All of this combined, with the shrieking and screaming, cries of displeasure when something doesn't go there way and endless cries of "Mummmmmyyyyy" leads me to loose my shit ALOT. Quite honestly my neighbours must wonder what the friggin hell is going on in our house 90% of the time.

I sometimes wonder how i'll ever make it through the next 18 years, but then I remember it won't all be like this. Or at least hopefully it wont! Surely the real teenager years will be easier - she says whilst rolling her eyes and chugging on her large glass of wine!

Who am I kidding.

My nexplanon implant saga

After I had Theo I decided it was time to go for a slightly longer term method of contraception, we are not planning anymore children at the moment and to be honest I was getting a little lax with taking my pill everyday - oopps! After having a little look around I decided the implant was for me, I knew a few people who have had them and they (on the whole) were very happy with it. So off I went and booked the insertion! I was a little nervous but I was reassured that after the local had been put in I wouldn't feel a thing. Yes that bit stung quite a bit, but it all went down hill after that! As soon as she put the implant in I was convinced something wasn't quite right. for a start the insertion hurt! And not only that but it hurt quite high up my arm, after the nurse said I needed to feel the implant to make sure I knew it was in there (as if the pain wasn't a good indicator!) Needless to say, I found it very difficult to feel - even she did. She said something about it being swollen and that after that had gone done it should be easier. She patched me up and sent me on my way. About an hour after the pain in my arm was pretty bad, I found myself taking paracetamol and ibuprofen to dull the throbbing and the bruise was quite frankly horrific straightaway. I looked like a hardcore junkie, it was awful. Thinking back alarm bells should have rung then, but the nurse had said it would bruise so I just got on with it.

Fast forward a few weeks (about 4) and the bruising was finally starting to disperse, but guess what I still couldn't feel the damn implant. Not only that but the insertion sight was very tender and I had itching around the site. So I book a telephone appointment and the nurse says to be on the safe side come in and have it checked. So off I go, the nurse who seen me was different to the one who had inserted it - she can't feel it either! She goes and gets the nurse who inserted it, she has a good prod around (which bloody hurt) and says oh yes I can feel it but its a little deep. No worries. Yep easy for her to say! I mention the tenderness and the itching and she says - its healing - don't worry! I ask if removal will be difficult owing to the deep insertion, she replies, it shouldn't but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I'm not going to lie, she didn't fill me with much confidence, I went home and did a little research and came to the conclusion it had been fitted wrongly.

It wasn't long after this I started getting a lot of random bleeding and quite frankly i'd had enough, I wanted it out. It was still slightly tender to touch and I just wanted the damn thing out! Back I go to the doctors, they try and convince me to keep the thing; I say no, they tell me to take the pill alongside the implant- um no thanks I'm not double dosing on hormones! I insist on having it removed and again I mention the deep insertion but she doesn't seem worried! I have to book another app for the removal, oh and another app to get the pill re-prescribed (by now I've had a lot of apps over this friggin thing). The day comes to have it removed - I'm bricking it, I know its in deep. Oh joy, its the insertion nurse! She pushes and prods around on my arm, she's tutting, I'm starting to feel ill from the rough palpitation on my arm, she asks who put this in. I reply - you did! Cue the nurse looking very sheepish, and finally admitting she can't take it out, it's in too deep! ARRGHHHH had I not said this several times already. Nurse tells me I have to go to a specialist clinic to have it removed and the waiting list is long. Brilliant. Just what I want to hear.

Thankfully around 3 weeks later I get a phone call and I'm offered an appointment 2 days later, I was shocked! Turns out the insertion nurse has made an urgent referral to get it removed! Off I go to this clinic and meet this rather lovely lady doctor who tells me she's an expert; exactly what I need. She feels my arm and tells me, it's in pretty deep but as she can feel one end she thinks she can get it out, if I'm happy for her to try, if not I'll be added to a list and have to have it done in hospital. I just want the thing out so I ask her to try. I won't go into the details of the removal, it wasn't painful in the slightest but it wasn't enjoyable, mainly for the poor doctor who was sweating by the time she'd yanked it from my muscle (with the help of another lovely lady doctor) after my muscle had started to grow fibres around the implant. I just about managed to get away without proper stitches and instead had several sterry strips put on and a large plaster. The doctor was very apologetic for being rough but honestly I didn't feel a thing, the local anaesthetic definitely did the job! She went on to say that if I hadn't had pushed to have it removed then in 3 years time when it was due for removal there's no way she would have got it out, I would have had to have it removed in hospital and would have been sporting a sizable scar. Turns out the nurse had inserted the implant far too high in my arm (14cms from my elbow when it should be 8-10cms) and also it had been inserted incorrectly! I now have the offending implant in a little bottle and I've brought it home to show the hubby exactly what I've been through! I honestly cannot thank the doctor enough, she was lovely as was her colleague, they put me at ease and I felt no pain, I wasn't rushed out of the door and I honestly felt they provided amazing care.

So, if you decide to have one fitted - honestly its an amazing form of contraception which unfortunately I've well and truly been put off of, don't be fobbed off if your not happy. Signs that its been fitted wrongly are; severe bruising after insertion, difficultly in palpating the implant and long-term tenderness. The doctor said its much easier to remove a badly inserted implant soon after insertion than it is years down the line when scar tissue has formed around the implant itself.

I am so glad that I pushed for the removal.

I'm only 1 day post removal but honestly it's not painful at all today, I was expecting my arm to be awful like it was when I had it put in but its not at all! I will try and remember to upload a photo after the dressing has come off and its healing

Photo taken day of removal

Day after removal

2 Days! Hardly any bruising

2 Weeks post removal - no bruising at all

Its a 24/7 kind of job

Before I had Zak, I worked fulltime, 9-5, Monday to Friday. At the time I thought that was a lot.

God was I wrong.

I was working 37 (at a push) 40 hours per week. I would come home, put my feet up, go to the gym, go for dinner, all without having to worry about anything or anyone. I even used to get the whole weekend to myself!! I could have a lie in on a Sunday morning!! I could do what I wanted when I wanted.

I definitely was not grateful enough of all of these things before Zak arrived. Without a doubt the most drastic change in your life when you become a parent is the sudden lack of 'time off.'

Overnight everything changed and I was required 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Quite frankly it made my poxy fulltime job look like a walk in the friggin park. I really started to question why on earth people signed up for this job? I mean, firstly there's no pay seriously £0, nothing. Secondly, there's no holiday - wtf! Thirdly, you are required to work all day and be on call ALL night. Something which if you're lucky tails off after a few months (if your not so lucky could last years) but when you're least expecting it will pop up randomly at 2.48am, 3.21am, 4.04am & 5.45am. A parents work is never done. I think you naturally get used to over time, at some point it just becomes the norm, you learn to cope with it and you instinctively put someone else before you.

However, there is one occasion where this just all goes out the window and something I've yet to find an answer for; when the parent is sick. When you really feel like shite. There's no calling in ill, "sorry kids, mummy isn't feeling too good, you're going to have to go it alone today"

Pffft! ain't going to happen.

I was hit with an unfortunate bout of food poisoning at the beginning of this week. To say I felt horrific would probably be pretty spot on. One thing was for sure, I was in no fit state to look after the kids, there was no way I was able to leave the house to do the school run and the thought of dealing with my boisterous 1 year old for more than 5 minutes left me wanting to curl into the foetal position and pretend I didn't exist. I'm so fortunate that Andy was able to take the day off and deal with everything for me that first day, I really don't know how I would have got through the day on my own. It was the first time in a long time that I remembered how full on being a parent is.

Lots of people refer to being a parent as a 24/7 job, and it is, it's just that. It's rewarding, challenging, testing, intriguing, emotional and tiring. And I love my job as the boys mother, it's the best job I've ever done. But. Maybe sometimes it would be nice to clock off, take a step back and have a breather, because more than anything parenting is completely relentless.

It's a job for a lifetime.

10 things i love about my children

For a change instead of moaning about how difficult I find being a mother, I thought I'd focus on what I love about my boys;

1. I love the way I am the most important person in their lives. Daddy comes a close second...
2. I love how they wrap their little arms around me when they want a cuddle or reassurance. The warmth of their little bodies and how they hug me as tightly as possible.
3. I love how we have a bond that no one else has, they have lived inside me for 9 whole months, they've heard my voice and knew me before I knew them.
4. I love their cheekiness, Theo especially has such a cheeky streak, even when he's being a complete horror, one flash of that smile and I can't be mad anymore.
5. I love how they've changed me for the better, I've actually learnt to put others before myself!!
6. I love how I've been blessed not once but twice with children who love their sleep - for this I'm unbelievably thankful
7. I love the way they look at each other sometimes, those brief moments of pure love for each other, they are the best of friends. True friends who spend 90% of their time trying to maim the other.
8. I love the way they've made us into a family; before they arrived Andy and I were a couple, they have made us a family. The Brakes
9. I love their laughter; there truly is no better sound in the world than your child's belly laugh
10. I love their individuality, they are chalk and cheese. Everyone told me you never get two alike, and they were right

I've not listed these in order of importance, merely as they've popped into my head. When I thought about it I could of written many more. Sometimes it is so easy to get caught in the moment, the moments of craziness and frustration, and focus purely on the negative as opposed to the positive.

This just proves how lucky I really am.

 

 

My children are wonderful little people.

The world from the eyes of Zakary, aged 4

1. I know everything, way more than mummy or daddy

2. Because I know everything I hate being told what to do, after all I know everything, I am 4

3. Just because my mummy and daddy gave me a baby brother, does not mean I should be grateful or have to like him all the time. I asked to return him but they said no. He ruins my Duplo zoo every time I build it, he is annoying

4. When I ask a question I expect it to be answered fully and to the nth degree, quite simply mummy and daddy's answers are sometimes poor, that's why I need to ask why so many times!

5. I remember everything, mummy says I'm like an elephant. I have no idea what that means but I guess it means I'm just really big & really cool. I can remember what we did 2 years ago when we were went on holiday on the big plane. Mummy can't remember what we did last week. Grown ups are silly

6. I wish there were more pennies in the world, then I could have more Avengers toys. You can never have too many.

7. There is nothing cooler in the world than a dinosaur FACT

8. I reserve the right to change my mind, I may say I want orange juice to drink but what I really want is chocolate milk. I just didn't realise it until you gave me orange juice

9. Just because I eat food at school it doesn't mean I'll eat it at home. Shepherds Pie at school is totally different to mummy's Shepherds Pie, I only like Shepherds Pie at school

10. Sometimes mummy or daddy don't do as I ask within 10 seconds, I then ask them again and again and again until they do it. If I don't "a minute" takes way too long

11. I measure time in episodes of "Wallykazam" for example, it takes around 4 episodes of  Wallykazam to get to the nearest Toys der Rus (Toy 'r' Us to everyone else but I know I'm right really)

12. Toys der Rus is THE best place in the entire world, I don't understand why it's always shut when we drive past it

13. I want a puppy, a brown one like on Paw Patrol. Daddy says I have to ask mummy for one, mummy says I have to ask Daddy. I don't understand why we still don't have a puppy like Zuma.

14. I go to school to play AND learn, when mummy picks me up at the end of the day she always asks what I've done. But I haven't don't anything. Nothing at all. Everyday

15. My mummy is really old, she is 28!!! Daddy might as well be a dinosaur, he is 31

Why I chose the sunroof option

Quite a few people were shocked when I chose to opt for a C-section for the birth of our second son Theo. To some a C-section is an easy way out, a way of avoiding contractions, being "too posh to push" and a convenient way of giving birth. I want to prove otherwise.

When I was pregnant with our first son Zakary, I didn't really give 'giving birth' a second thought if I'm honest. Lets be fair, its got to come out somehow and to me the obvious way was naturally. I knew a fair few people who had given birth and they were alright, to me I would be too. I didn't want an epidural and I was going to go as natural as possible. I booked myself in with the local birthing centre and decided on a water birth. 6 days before my due date I went into labour (on April Fools would you believe it!) I laboured fairly well, it was painful yes, but bearable and after around 20 hours of contractions my waters went and I started pushing. This is where it all went downhill; I pushed for 2.5 hours!!!! To cut (excuse the pun) a long story short I ended up with an extended episiotomy and a tear, 3rd degree to be exact - OUCH! I was transferred to the nearest main hospital where I was administered a spinal and I was stitched up in theatre by a lovely lady doctor. I was discharged the next day with a bag full of antibiotics, laxatives and pain killers; my introduction to motherhood was oh so glamorous!!

Three years later we had decided it was time to add another addition to the clan, I fell pregnant fairly quickly and I was automatically assigned to a consultant due to my previous tear. Up until this point id really not thought much about my previous birth experience, I honestly did not think it had had a lasting effect on me. I WAS WRONG (not something I admit lightly). I found myself sat in front of a middle aged lady consultant sobbing my heart out when she stated very matter of a fact'ly, "there's no reason you can't have a natural birth again, you have no ongoing issues, we'll see you again when you're in labour". She showed no signs of concern for me and sent me on my way fairly quickly.

It was then I decided I couldn't do it again, I was scared, no, I was terrified of tearing again.

She couldn't guarantee me that another natural birth would be straightforward or more importantly it wouldn't have more lasting damage to my already once repaired pelvic floor. I went back to my midwife and said I wanted to change hospitals, and I wanted a new consultant. Luckily for me I didn't have to fight to hard at all, my new consultant and hospital were very understanding of how I felt, they gave me all the information and statistics on both C-sections and the chances of having another serious tear. I opted for the C-section.

My C-section was scheduled for 39+2 and went very well, we were blessed with another big boy 8lbs 7oz with a large head (it was then I was told I had actually made a wise decision in going for c-section) and I was discharged 2 days later. Yes it was painful, laughing was horrendous and I swear I almost killed my cat when she jumped on my wound at 4 days post partum! Jeezzus fecking christ that hurt. I couldn't push my pram, I couldn't pick my 4 year old to cuddle him, I could barely sit up if I was led it bed - it hurt, ALOT. If I'm honest it hurt more than I thought it would, but keeping on top of my meds it was ok. Having said this, I could sit down comfortably, I could go to the loo without fearing my insides would fall out (anyone who's had a baby knows what I mean) AND most importantly to me, I felt relieved that I had potentially saved myself from future continence issues which had been my main concern when opting for a section.





So the next time you hear someone make a comment on a woman opting for a C-section think carefully about why they're doing it. I can almost guarantee you it won't be because its the easy way out. Most probably its because she either a) had a section the first time or b) she had a horrific delivery the first time and quite frankly she doesn't fancy spending the rest of her life using tenna ladys....

I know what I'd prefer.

Part-time Worker, Full-time Mother

What do you do for a living?

• Oh do you work part-time? Lucky you, best of both worlds!
• You work part-time? Isn't that confusing for the children?
• Oh gosh you've gone back full-time? How do you manage it? When do you see the children?
• You're a stay at home mother? lucky you!
• Oh you stay at home with the kids? Rather you than me!

Believe it or not i'm sure i've heard it all by now.

Many years ago a huge percentage of mothers finished work for the foreseeable future when having their first baby, many not returning to work until they were at primary school/secondary school or out of education altogether. Nowadays its seems far more common place for mothers to be returning to work on either a part-time or full-time basis.

After having both of the boys i have returned to work on a part-time basis. Firstly i'd like to point out that being a SAHM has never really been an option to me, I have to work in order to help support our lives. I was adamant after having Zak that I did not want to work fulltime, to put it bluntly what it would cost me in a fulltime nursery placement compared to my fulltime wage - well there wouldn't be much left! So I count myself very lucky to have both my mother and my mother-in-law available and willing to help look after the boys. They both have them a day a week each whilst i'm working in order that our childcare bill isn't too high. Theo attends nursery 1 day a week and that alone costs over £150(!) a month; Zakary is now in fulltime school. I can honestly say without their help returning to work may not have \been such viable option.

Returning to work has pros and cons, it allows me valuable 'adult' time away from the boys, it 'keeps my foot in the door', it gives grandparents the chance to spend quality time with their grandchildren, and most of all it pays the bills!!! I also think it helps to reinforce the work ethic my husband and I want for our boys. The cons are that over the years i've probably missed alot of the boys growing up, but its been necessary to provide them with the best upbringing we (my husband and I) possibly can.

Everyone seems to have their own opinions on working mothers; on one hand mothers are supposedly sacrifing their hard earn careers to stay at home with their children and on the other mothers are sacrificing time with their children to return to work. WE CANNOT WIN. It seems whatever we do as parents someone will have something to say about it. This week i overheard a few people discussing a colleagues handing in of notice after her maternity leave. Quite clearly they were shocked she wouldn't be returning to her hard earned career, and somehow they were surprised she wanted to stay at home with her baby instead. Who's business is it, apart from hers and her husbands anyway?

What i am desperately trying to explain is, regardless of our working siuation we are all mothers, fulltime mothers at that. We do not give up being a mother when we walk out of the daycare door and we don't bin our qualifications when we choose to stay at home with our children. We do what is best for our families. For me that means working 20 hours a week, for my neighbour it means staying at home with her youngest whilst her eldest goes to school, for my facebook friend it means working full-time whilst still managing to raise her beautiful boy.

We are all different, we can not all be labelled the same and we should all support eachother in whatever choice we have or choose to make.

It's OK because i'm trying my best

Before I had children and before I had even contemplated procreating with anyone, I distinctly remember saying I didn't want children. My reason; I'm too selfish!

Fast forward a few years I'd met Andy, we'd brought our first house, got engaged, planned a beautiful wedding, got married and been on a lovely sunny honeymoon. It was in the middle of my post wedding blues that I realised that the lovely thing all woman endure once a month was late.... Hhmm. Not even a day or so, no, more like over a week late. No biggy I thought, maybe its all the stress of the wedding but maybe I'll take a test just to be sure. Well I'm pretty sure the instant I pee'd on that little stick those two blue lines showed up. SHIT.... This was not in the plan. Yes we'd discussed children one day and in one drunken night on honeymoon we'd (for a very short time) thought it would be a good idea to 'try' but seriously, how did this happen? Turns out apparently we didn't have any problems in that department. I went into denial, shock, disbelief (call it what you will) - I was 23 and had been married only 5 weeks and there I am, PREGNANT.

It was from there my apprehension about being a mother really started. How was i possibly going to bring up this tiny little person growing inside? How would i ever get over having to put someone elses needs before my own? I'm a self expressed selfish person, this was not going to come naturally to me. Top of my anxiety's was giving up my figure to have this little person, stretch marks were my vision of evil. I'm pretty sure throughout the whole of those 9 months i worried about something everyday, was the baby going to be healthy, would i be a good mum, would it come naturally, how would my relationshop cope with this sudden unplanned change, would i ever wear a size 10 ever again?!

I'm not going to lie when our beautiful little boy was finally born at 39+2 weeks on the 2nd April 2011 the only thing i felt was relief. After a difficult birth i didn't have that sudden rush of love everyone describes and quite honestly in those first few days after he was born i cried alot, i was in pain from giving birth and this tiny little person someone had entrusted me to look after just cried, slept, wanted to be fed and have his nappy changed. It wasn't how it looked in the books or in the tv programmes. My life had changed forever and for a very small amount of time I wanted to give him to someone else and go back to my old 'prebaby' life. Yet somewhere down the line things changed, i didn't even realise when they did but suddenly he was my be all and everything. I would move mountains for this little guy, he was mine and i loved every single ounce of his being. His smile and the way he would look at me changed my perspective on life. I was his mummy and i was his everything. He needed me.

Motherhood has been a learning curve for me; it has not come naturally. I've given up alot, especially socially, but i wouldn't change a thing. Zakary has brought out a part of me which i didn't even know existed, he's proved to me that i'm capable of far more than i ever imagined and there is no such thing as a perfect mother. Some days when he and his brother are really trying me, i still wonder what the hell i am doing being allowed to actually parent and raise two small children. Yes i loose my rag, i shout and want to cry; but, it's OK, because every single moment of everyday i am trying my best to be the very best mother I can be to them. It's ok because, to Zak and Theo I am the best mummy in the entire world, and they love me, faults and all.

I'm not perfect, far far from it, but to them i am.

Me & Theo July 2015 by KP Photography Trowbridge 

 

Me and Zakary February 2013

 

 

Taming the Wild Ones

"Ahhh isn't he cute; ever so cheeky looking."

Now, if I had a pound for every time I've heard this in the past few months I'd have enough for that new car I so desperately want (and need after our garage bill today)!

My wonderful, darling children (God love 'em) have this amazing ability to fool the entire world into thinking they're sweet and innocent at least 75% of the time. However, today terrible no2 decided he would go for the "hell hath no fury like a scorned 14month old" act. Screaming, crying, rolling around on the floor of the local Sainsbury's cafe. I tried it all, kept myself composed, reasoned with him - yeh right - calmed him, pacified him, came down to his level. You know all the stuff it says in the mummy handbook; but, he was having none of it. Absolutely NONE of it. So what did I do? I heaved him off the floor, sat him on my lap and let him eat MY carrot cake instead of his lunch, all whilst the people around me peered over their lattes and cream cakes, tutting & shaking their heads. Should I have apologised? Or should I have left? Maybe I should have gagged him?.... Probably, but I didn't mainly as I'm pretty sure that would land in in social services territory!

(Just to prove his banshee moment in years to come)

 

One of the things that has amazed me since having my boys, is the general public's and (especially) the older generation's ability to make me feel like I'm doing an absolutely shite job of bring up my terrors. I'm quite sure back in 1950 something when they were raising their own wonderful children they never had such a situation as I found myself in today. BULLSHIT. 

Children are children and they cannot be tamed. Especially 14month old headstrong little monkeys, like Theo, who did not want a cheese sandwich for lunch! Lesson 1 in the Brake family parenting handbook,

Do what you have to to survive

P.S Thank you to the lovely lovely lady who came over after the storm had passed and said "we've all been there, your doing a good job" you literally have no idea how much I needed to hear that.